What triggers your impulse to help? Is the risk of reaching out exceeded by the potential reward? Do you prefer a candid examination or simply jumping in and getting started?
Before I get into Sunday Scribblings this week, I wanted to inform everyone that Ann arrived safely in Florida last night. We picked her up at the airport and then returned to our area and the hotel she picked for 10 days. She was very tired, a ten hour flight combined with a very stressful week makes this a good time for her to relax and have a good time. We have very few firm plans because we want a vacation free of obligations.
“I Just Don’t Get It…”
how so many people can be so self-centered. Is it arrogance or fear that leads some to believe that everything in the world caters to them? This may be a generality however in the course of daily work, I see many people, young and old, male and female who expect to be feted and treated as if perfection themselves. How did this happen? How were they raised as children to believe that they are superior to everyone they meet? I don’t just get it.
Being humble is not about being meek or downtrodden. In fact meek originally meant more in the sense of pious and gentle than in being awkward or shy. Being self-confident does not have to mean being rude and condescending but rather should mean being compassionate and understanding to others. Being right is not a goal nor a way to punish those less perfect than thou. Look beyond the boundaries of your life and ask yourself what can I do to make the world a better place. None of us as individuals can change everything, but all of us can at least treat others with a bit of respect.
What is the difference between a multiple personality and an imaginary friend?
Children create imaginary friends as part of a healthy and normal period of development. They may be boys or girls; animals or objects. Friends that become a means of communication and a safe way to put new experiences in proper context. As a child grows, these imaginary friends gradually diminish and in many cases, become part of an older child’s personality and interests.
If however, a child has an unhealthy and abusive period of development, what becomes of those imaginary friends? Do they become ‘real’ multiples? While nearly every multiple personality has a background of abuse, not all children, in fact, very few that are abused become multiples. What then creates a multiple personality in a specific child?
The prevailing theory is that a trauma event, or series of trauma events occurs that the child cannot process and thus a portion of the mind splits and ‘deals’ with the event instead. If this splitting is severe enough, then a new personality is created. But is this personality real or merely an imaginary friend that deals with the ‘bad’ stuff?
Let’s assume for this argument that the created personality is real. That a new person has been ‘born’. How is this possible? If two or more personalities are sharing a body, how can they all be real? This line of reasoning would clearly state that having a body has nothing at all to do with being real. Rather, it is the mind where personalities are formed. The mind, the self-aware mind is where ‘real’ is separated from the imaginary.
For a multiple to be real they need to be self-aware. They need to understand that their personality is separate and distinct from the others. Not only the ‘face’, but any other multiples present. Their desires, their needs may be very different and unique to their own personality. Imaginary friends and characters are not real, but rather projections and facets of everyone’s day-to-day personality. A multiple personality can be ‘real’, if they understand the world around them and react in ways that are different from the others.
To create this difference, this self-awareness, requires the active co-operation of the dominant personality. Black outs occur when there is a power struggle between the personalities for control of the body. Until this is resolved, it can be very dangerous and destructive for the people involved.
Another area of confusion for many is the idea that a ‘normal’ person can have other personalities. The ‘face’, the body the world sees, many times, if not all the time, is also a multiple personality. They may or may not be the birth personality and in our case, the current ‘face’ is not the personality who grew up with the family. Which raises another interesting question.
What do you call the body that is shared by many?
Do you put walls up? Do you shut people out because it’s safer that way?
I find the most fascinating aspect of blogging to be the many different ways that people blog. The level of interaction with comments and posts. The friends that you make. Some are friends who only comment once in awhile. Some are friends you start email relationships with and some progress to phone calls and meeting in person.
I’ve always accepted people at face value, I’ve learned that from Brian. That doesn’t mean I don’t realize that many people don’t understand me and have no interest in my life.
So what makes a wall? What reasons do we have for pushing people away?
Is trust a bad thing?
If I ask you to be my friend, what does that mean to you?
When you say you want me to be your friend, what are your expectations of me?
In other words, are blogging friendships different that real life friendships? If we never talk in person. If we never meet in person. If we never progress beyond daily or weekly visits and comments does that mean we are still friends?
This is difficult for me at times, simply because I’m not always around. You can’t call me up to chat unless I’m home. I can’t answer your email unless I am home. I don’t work, but I am stuck at Brian’s work fifty hours a week.
I blog because without blogging, my voice would be so very faint. I blog because I want to be friends with as many people as possible. I want to be your friend and it’s ok if it’s on your terms. But remember, please tell me when I am facing a wall, it will make both our lives so much easier.
Why do people fall in love? It seems that everywhere I go to read these days, there is someone falling out of love, hurting from love or pining for love. Is love really worth all the hassles?
What makes love worth the problems that come with being in a relationship? I am confused in that many of the people I call friends are having difficulties with their partners. I just want to know why?