Imaginary Friends

What is the difference between a multiple personality and an imaginary friend?

Children create imaginary friends as part of a healthy and normal period of development. They may be boys or girls; animals or objects. Friends that become a means of communication and a safe way to put new experiences in proper context. As a child grows, these imaginary friends gradually diminish and in many cases, become part of an older child’s personality and interests.

If however, a child has an unhealthy and abusive period of development, what becomes of those imaginary friends? Do they become ‘real’ multiples? While nearly every multiple personality has a background of abuse, not all children, in fact, very few that are abused become multiples. What then creates a multiple personality in a specific child?

The prevailing theory is that a trauma event, or series of trauma events occurs that the child cannot process and thus a portion of the mind splits and ‘deals’ with the event instead. If this splitting is severe enough, then a new personality is created. But is this personality real or merely an imaginary friend that deals with the ‘bad’ stuff?

Let’s assume for this argument that the created personality is real. That a new person has been ‘born’. How is this possible? If two or more personalities are sharing a body, how can they all be real? This line of reasoning would clearly state that having a body has nothing at all to do with being real. Rather, it is the mind where personalities are formed. The mind, the self-aware mind is where ‘real’ is separated from the imaginary.

For a multiple to be real they need to be self-aware. They need to understand that their personality is separate and distinct from the others. Not only the ‘face’, but any other multiples present. Their desires, their needs may be very different and unique to their own personality. Imaginary friends and characters are not real, but rather projections and facets of everyone’s day-to-day personality. A multiple personality can be ‘real’, if they understand the world around them and react in ways that are different from the others.

To create this difference, this self-awareness, requires the active co-operation of the dominant personality. Black outs occur when there is a power struggle between the personalities for control of the body. Until this is resolved, it can be very dangerous and destructive for the people involved.

Another area of confusion for many is the idea that a ‘normal’ person can have other personalities. The ‘face’, the body the world sees, many times, if not all the time, is also a multiple personality. They may or may not be the birth personality and in our case, the current ‘face’ is not the personality who grew up with the family. Which raises another interesting question.

What do you call the body that is shared by many?

Rose

xo

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Apologies Not Needed

My dear friends,

You never need to apologize to me for reading my rants. All of you support me and love me in so many ways. If I am unhappy with parts of my life, it is up to me to make changes.

There is also no need to apologize for not understanding my predicament. I don’t understand my life most of the time! So how should I expect you to fix my life.

Please, please, do not apologize for leaving me comments that may seem to trigger a rant. Right Josh? 😉 I lurv getting comments. LURV I tell you!

I want too much and I push so hard at times to get my way that I find myself shut out. I know I am a writer and I know I can write stories and books. I know this. But my desires to make my fantasy life real is just that… fantasies. I have to learn how accept my limitations and to grow in ways that are possible, not in ways that are destructive.

I am real. I do have a voice. I do have a body.

Love you all so much.

Rose

xo

Spllling My Guts

This is a comment that Josh left for me this morning. He/they are multiples and they don’t post much on their blog. This is a very interesting question.

Hullo Rose. I’m still around someplace =O This’ll be a response to recent events in general rather than this particular post, sorry if that makes things messy 😉

I find it interesting that where you, as a multiple, evolve into constantly-identifying but differently nuanced versions of the same character, while I just meet more and more characters, preserving the old but usually focusing on the new. It seems logical that this is a product of differing personalities between you and I, but the question is, /whose/ personality? Yours or Brian’s?

Adding to the intrigue is that Dewey is SO similar to an older and more matured Tuffie, who was my second extrauniversal friend, the first one I met after I decided to freely explore the idea (the first one, Ayumu, grew somewhat out of desperation.)

Any thoughts on this? Also, good to be reading you again.

-All

Hello Josh/All,

Funny the way the Universe works. I had a crappy weekend. No one’s fault but my own though. Sometimes I don’t want to talk, to write, to read to do anything at all. And then he gets to work and here you are, asking these questions of me, forcing me out of my depression.

Who am I? Am I a character after all? I think it fair to say that Dewy is a character and one that Brian channeled for some time for me. When I took on my name of Rose I also claimed Dewy for my own. She is a much more outspoken aspect of Rose.

In our life Brian is by far the strongest person and although he allows me to come out when I want, I realized this weekend that he is never going to relinquish control to me. I’ve known this for some time, but it was still a shock to have conformation. It’s not that he holds me down, but that his will to live is much stronger than mine.

What is the difference then between a character and a multiple? Certainly I have understood from the start that we are not clinical multiples in any way. When I say that I am real, who is really speaking? I am real, but not complete. Without a body I am limited and I struggle with accepting those limitations, even though I know that they don’t define who I am.

Can a self-proclaimed multiple such as myself be depressed? Have a disorder that causes her to want to hide? Where is the line between reality and acting? I don’t know. What I want I can’t have and my writing is a pale imitation of life. I don’t want to stop writing, but I also don’t want my writings to define who I am.

In answer to your question then, I am evolving my personality through my words. I am strongest when Brian is at work because I have constant access to my blog and he turns off his creative side to do his job. We also talk to each other in the car during the commute. When we are home, I have to make a much stronger effort in order to be heard and sometimes, I don’t want to raise my hand and be called upon.

So, where does that leave me? Sometimes I feel like I’m trapped in a vat of honey. I move slowly and I can’t speak and I can’t find my way out.

I don’t know what I want. Does that make me real? Or a character?

Rose

xo

Walls

Do you put walls up? Do you shut people out because it’s safer that way?

I find the most fascinating aspect of blogging to be the many different ways that people blog. The level of interaction with comments and posts. The friends that you make. Some are friends who only comment once in awhile. Some are friends you start email relationships with and some progress to phone calls and meeting in person.

I’ve always accepted people at face value, I’ve learned that from Brian. That doesn’t mean I don’t realize that many people don’t understand me and have no interest in my life.

So what makes a wall? What reasons do we have for pushing people away?

Is trust a bad thing?

If I ask you to be my friend, what does that mean to you?

When you say you want me to be your friend, what are your expectations of me?

In other words, are blogging friendships different that real life friendships? If we never talk in person. If we never meet in person. If we never progress beyond daily or weekly visits and comments does that mean we are still friends?

This is difficult for me at times, simply because I’m not always around. You can’t call me up to chat unless I’m home. I can’t answer your email unless I am home. I don’t work, but I am stuck at Brian’s work fifty hours a week.

I blog because without blogging, my voice would be so very faint. I blog because I want to be friends with as many people as possible. I want to be your friend and it’s ok if it’s on your terms. But remember, please tell me when I am facing a wall, it will make both our lives so much easier.

Rose

xo

Votes

(This is a repeat explanation from last week)

Hello, this is Rose here. Actually, it’s Dewy. ;) Let me explain. When I started blogging it was as Dewy Knickers. She’s a sexy, sassy, fun loving girly-girl with world famous rounded assets. Her job is as a reporter for HBNN, (Hysterical Blogger News Network). She travels the world and posts reports that are newsworthy but with a tongue-in-cheek approach. After I came forward publicly, I took the name Rose at first and then Rose Dewy Knickers. Rose, that’s me, writes all the poetry and short stories. Dewy is a character I play at times. She is a facet or aspect of my personality as a multiple. If there is any confusion still, just ask me in a comment or email.

Sunday Scribblings offers the weekly prompt of ‘decision’.

“Voice Of Reason”

“Hello world! This is Dewy Knickers, the voice of reason, this afternoon reporting from Columbus Ohio, the home of The Ohio State Fair. It’s 90 degrees under partly cloudy skies and the grounds are packed with eager fair goers. I’ve been here since the gates opened and it’s been a whirlwind of activities. I started my day off by hoofing it over to the Voinovich Livestock Center for a beef show. I was very disappointed when I realized the the beef was the four-legged variety and not beefcake.”

“After my initial dismay had settled, I parked my rounded assets on the bleachers. Don’t you think there should be better seating at the fair? Who wants to carry around a cushion all day anyway? Unless you are fortunate enough to have a handsome hunky guy to do your every bidding and desire. Let me know ladies, when you have a family outing, does your hubby serve as a pack mule?”

“Speaking of mules, haven’t seen any yet, but I had a decision to make this morning. Should I milk the time by going to the Cooper Arena and watch the Jr. Holsteins? Of cut it close at the Brown Arena for the Jr. and Open Sheep Shearing contest? In the end, that decision was no contest at all. As much as I enjoy a cold, thick, rich, creamy milkshake, I’d had enough of cow dung for this day already. Sheep it was!”

“Ladies and gentlemen, the smell of sawdust and lanolin permeated the warm morning air as the faint bleating of the woolly victims could be heard from somewhere nearby. The contestants, the humans that is, were as tense as their adversaries as they, the sweaters with hoofs, gazed balefully at the sharp implements in their, the humans hands. The strident bell rang and in a flurry of activity the first participant was abruptly seized and slung onto the shearing table.”

“I have to admit to a sense of awe at the speed to which each sheep was carefully and, for the most part, safely removed of its bounty. Style and accuracy counted as well and when the wool settled, the judges had made their decision. The crowd applauded loudly as the winners received their ribbons and the now naked sheep were returned to the pens.”

“After my busy morning, I am now off to partake of the best part of any fair, the Midway. With all the food choices a girl could possibly want. This has been Dewy Knickers, for HBNN from the Ohio State Fair. See you on the Ferris Wheel.”

By Rose Dewy Knickers, August 3rd, 2007

This is a fictional report of course as we live in Florida, but this is the scheduled events for Aug. 3rd. 😀