Stockings were hung…

Welcome to Three Word Wednesday. Each week, Bone will post three (or more) words. Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to write something using all of those words. It can be a few lines, a story, a poem, anything.

Leave a comment if you participate. Many fun and interesting people might visit your blog.

This week’s words are:

It’s always something. Every year a new toy or a better game. Gets broken right away and then what happens. It gets recalled anyway. Lead poisoning? When I was a kid, we ate paint chips and look at me! Nothing wrong with my brain. You think I can afford all the latest gadgets? Me, working my fingers to stubs seventy hours a week? For what? To hear the rugrats whine and carrying on? Shut up or I’ll give you something to cry about!

I swear they must think I’m dim or on crack again to fall for the Christmas racket this year. They see an ad and don’t even think about the price. Maybe if their father’s would fork over some dough. Haven’t heard from Kenny or Jimmy lately. John’s in prison again and Frank’s shacking up with the milkmaid. Paul keeps bugging me for money, but come on already! I live in shoe for crying out loud. A moldy, leaky, smelly shoe that should have been condemned years ago. Would’ve been too if my youngest’s daddy hadn’t worked for the county zoning board.

Holiday spirit? Tell you what. The only thing gonna be hung in those stockings this year are packs of cigarettes. I get them at the reservation smoke shop. Merry Christmas.

By Rose Dewy Knickers, November 28th, 2007


26 thoughts on “Stockings were hung…

  1. Rose, I’m so used to people talking about eating paint chips etc as a kid and how nothing is wrong with them that I took it as a given something was very wrong with this person from other details–crack again, and given the substance abuse problems of Native Americans honestly took it as that

  2. “When I was a kid, we ate paint chips and look at me! Nothing wrong with my brain.”

    I fully agree with that. As a matter of fact, I think we have better brains becos of that!

    Rose, you do satire so well.

  3. Hi Pia. Thank you, I wrote this as a spoof on the “Old Woman who lives in the shoe”. However as you point out, this has many modern tragic elements.

    Gautami, that line is also based on current events and references the rise in the obsession with clean equaling more childhood disease.



    P.S We’re off to lunch, brb.

  4. Clean wouldn’t be so bad if we did it without all the chemicals… all most people do is cover up one poison with another more dangerous one. Don’t get me started.

    We did come out just fine, well, for the most part.

    Loved the way you told this story, Rose. I had a clear visual of the family. Cigarettes vs just a lump of coal or an empty stocking… a trade off, I suppose.

  5. Bitter yet witty, I like it : )

    “When I was a kid, we ate paint chips and look at me! Nothing wrong with my brain.” – Too F Funny!

  6. Such fun, really enjoyed the humorous truth…all in the name of holiday spirit sure drives me nuts 🙂 Thank you Rose 🙂

  7. Good morning everyone. A very, very foggy day here today. Hope y’all are doing well.

    Hi Paisley, I think we all know her.

    TC, cover your ears. 😉

    Tumble, all the nursery rhymes characters have *issues*.

    Welcome JuJee, bitter, with a twist. 🙂

    UL, everything is so over the top this time of year.

    Herb, was that you I scraped off my boot heel?

    Claire, a very generous splash of tea in the Bailey’s.



  8. Instead of whipping them soundly and sending them to bed she gives them all a pack of smokes. An excellent maternal role model, right? She’s a grinchy dame, isn’t she?

    A creepy xmas tale!

  9. Haha. A Christmas story from the POV of the Old Lady Who Lived In A Shoe. That was great.

    May I encourage you, and her, to consider the non-commercialized holiday of Festivus in the future 🙂

  10. Thanks for the laugh, Rose. You sure have a way with making Christmas fun. I am told I am the Grinch of the family because I don’t like to decorate and do the traditional Christmas stuff anymore. Anyway… this was a perfect story, as always. Keep up the good work. Have a nice weekend.

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