What turns you on?

Sunday Scribblings has “Passion” on the mind this week.

The Writers Island has two prompts this week, “Second Chance” and “Perspective”.

Good morning everyone, this is Dewy Knickers here on your favorite day of the week, Friday. And if it’s Friday, then it must be time for Friday’s Mailbag! I know it has been awhile since Rose asked me to post here on her blog, but between my talk show – “Flashing Knickers With Dewy” daily on HBNN – , covering the election and working with Rose to polish her manuscript – coming soon to a bookstore near you – my life right now is quite lacking in passion.

Dear Ms. Knickers,

I am a 33 year old mother of three, two girls and a boy and I love my family very much. I watch your show nearly every day and you always have such good advice that I wanted to ask you a question. Lately my husband has been working late and when he gets home, he doesn’t want to talk. We’ve never had problems communicating before and when I try be affectionate, he withdraws. We haven’t had sex in months now and I’m afraid something is going on. How do I get back the passion in our marriage?

Worried in Suburbia

Dear Worried,

I want you to put things in proper perspective. Men are strange creatures when it comes to work. To many men, providing for their family is the strongest source of pride for them. He considers bringing home a paycheck that allows his wife and children to be comfortable to be the ultimate proof of his love. I realize that many women in your situation may think he’s having an affair, but it is more likely that his job is in jeopardy. Being fired or laid off is the worst blow to a man’s self-esteem that he can suffer. And when he’s a loving family man, like your husband, it’s no wonder he can’t talk about it.

Here’s an idea you can try. Get a babysitter and then book a room at a local hotel for Friday night. That afternoon, go to your husband’s place of work and kidnap him. Seriously, walk in to his office, tell his boss you are taking your husband and leave together. Don’t listen to any protests, put on your ‘Don’t mess with the PMS lady’ look and take charge. The first stop though, is lunch at your favorite restaurant. On the way there, lay out the rules. “Honey, I’m not happy right now and I know you aren’t as well. Tonight isn’t about second chances, but a fresh start for us. We’re going to lunch and we are going to pretend it’s a first date. However, there will be only one question either of us can ask. ‘What turns you on?’ I promise I will be honest. Can you?”

That’s the tough part. On my show I tell women to own their bodies and their sexuality. To be honest to their partners and to themselves. If you like to be on top, then say so. If you want to be spanked, then what’s the fantasy? What turns you on about him? His looks, his scent, his mouth, his penis; ask him for his turn ons in return and tell him nothing is too strange. After your lunch together, check-in to the hotel and go all the way on your first date like you wanted to when you first met. Good luck and fight for your marriage and for your love.


Dewy Knickers


44 thoughts on “What turns you on?

  1. well darling… if i ever in this life find a man again… i will with great pleasure kidnap him,, and ravage him in a cheap motel… or the car on the way there.. .maybe both….you never know…..

  2. Advice that sounds as if came from experience… Perfect on all fronts (and in arrears).

    How did Dewey Knickers get so smart?

    Hugs, Rose… I’m trying to play catch up this week, of the reading kind, not throwing that red stuff around, though as moody as I have been I’m surprised I haven’t thrown it at someone. Grin.

  3. This sure is one way to put the spark back in the relationship!! Kidpnapping, motel rooms — all the things you would do before you had a committed relationship, children, responsibility. I think that it’s the responsibility of adulthood, children, etc. that can dampen passion faster than anything. Great post!

  4. Welcome Sherry, it does seem that passion flies out the window quickly, yet that bond is what drew you together in the first place.

    Dewy thanks you Maria. That will be $75 please. πŸ˜‰

    Welcome Granny, good for you. πŸ˜€

    Go for it Awareness and remember, it’s everything that turns you on. Rainbows and puppy dogs.



  5. That’s good advice but as a uncommunicative male myself, I would suggest that she whispers to him all the things about him that turn her on, that will get him going. It’s often very difficult for men to understand why women find them attractive, it is very easy to feel like a large hairy unattractive clumsy beast, if she whispers that she thinks he is sexy because and she likes to ….. I guarantee a response.

  6. Morning y’all. Brian’s at work so I’ll be flitting around.


    Stimulating is good, very good. πŸ˜‰

    Myrtle, I’m paddling as hard as I can.


    Whisper sweet nothings and I will rock your world.



  7. Such a fun post! Love your optimistic outlook! I’d have been thinking he was having an affair and would have been booking an appointment with a lawyer instead of a room in a hotel!

  8. Good Sunday afternoon everyone. Taking a break from writing to check in on my blog.

    I just want to say, I am very, very honored that those of you who have real relationships are finding my advice helpful. It means a lot to me to be so accepted by real life people. Thanks also to Steve and Square for linking to posts of mine, if there are others, let me know.

    This post is up to 133 views and I thank each and everyone of you that has read this post and my blog in general. I was in a dark place last week and many of you reached in and shone your light on me. Thank you for your love.

    Keith, thank you for the non-comment comment while commenting. πŸ™‚

    Cricket, our hands are powerful, but not as powerful as our minds.

    Chickle, love is a commitment but passion is a state of mind.

    Welcome Mom, I hope you seize the idea… and your husband.

    Linda, Linda. I am always optimistic about all things. πŸ˜‰



  9. What a great letter and outstanding advice. I am just so sad that I have no one in my life at the moment that I can try it out on.

  10. Good Monday morning everyone. Thanks again to everyone for commenting.

    Hi Lis, sorry bought that. 😦

    Susan, you can enact this at any time for any reason.

    Thanks Ren for stopping by.



  11. …great advice…thrz nothin like hotel sex… **laughin**..serious note, thanks for noting how important the job is to a man… sometimes we women forget….

  12. Thanks everyone. I wrote 5,000 words today on a new beginning to my book.

    Rambler, no force involved here, just persuasion.

    Noah, I bet you have them lining up at your door.

    Hi Pie, thank you. Living inside a man does give me some insight. πŸ˜‰



  13. Yay!! I joined this blogosphere world for the first time last week and I so very much enjoyed your writing last week, that I knew I would be in for a treat this week! I loved this! For fear of sounding ignorant–do you really write an advice column for women? Or was this just a fictional piece of writing? Because if you don’t -you SHOULD and if you do – Hooray because your advice ROCKS. I think I will tell my hubby tonight my deep dark wishes that I often keep to my own guilty pleasure!!! πŸ™‚ Thanks and I can’t wait to keep reading MORE of your writing!

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