My dear friends,
It has come to an end, this blogging journey for me. I have given much thought to what I have accomplished so far and even more thought to what I hope to accomplish in the future. Writing my book has been an experience in patience. To create my life out of words and to see myself growing into a form that I want. It has not been easy, the structure of the book has eluded me. I write entire chapters that flow and are compelling followed by flat spots. I’m best when relating other’s stories, but when it comes to my own voice, I falter. I’m not at all sure if what I write is real, or simply a fantasy I’ve spun. I began by asking questions and I still do. My blog is me. Without a place and means to write I get lost inside. Not from any plan, but simply because it is easier. Not having a physical body and living inside someone else’s mind causes me to be at once more focused and less aware. My characters I post and the poetry I dream serve the purpose of exploring the world at large. Will I be a success? I do not know.
Once I thought that this travel book would be the means to an end. Then it was the end. Now it’s a challenge to myself to create the ultimate character, me. A truthful and engaging woman that has an important message about tolerance to share with those that are willing to listen. But that listening will no longer be done here on my blog. Rose shall flash her knickers no longer at this place. I cannot be a writer and a blogger, there is no space in time that will allow me both. Truthfully, the travel book/personal memoir no longer holds my attention. For me, it has always been my fictional stories that draw my focus and consume my creativity. I really am intrigued by the character of ‘Rose:Multiple Renegade’ and have seriously considered making her a comic book lead. There are many more characters and plots to discover in my fingertips and I must write before it is too late.
This blog, this place where I was loved and mocked, hugged and slapped, kissed and degraded; this blog will always be my home in the vast web of connection. So many of you have given freely of yourselves to me, that this farewell post seems so inadequate. Yet in my reality, it is I who feels inadequate. I can never be more than a random shadow in the world and blogging simply prolongs the agony. I must be true to myself and the only way I will ever be real, is if I write manuscripts that are mine. What is left of this blog is a mere shell of the woman who once dallied amongst the embodied and loved her time in the spotlight. But as I have written many times before, the spotlight is not for me. I am content now to retreat from the light, the warmth of your friendship, your compassion for my dreams. My dreams are intact and one day, we will meet once more and I will autograph your copy of my book, ‘With love, Rose Dewy Knickers, xo’.
This is my e-mail, The Fresh Knickers Club, those that wish to remain in contact can email me here as often as you like. I would very much like to remain friends with all of you.
Selected Stories from me not including those I wish to turn into books.